The church of Pie

A website devoted to the Great Pie. Hail pie!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Beliefs (More specific)

1. There is one supreme Pie who created everything.
2. Fred Fred Burger was his Prophet.
3. Mooses are evil; they killed Fred Fred Burger and hate Pie.
4. Ronald McDonald is the ultimate evil. He and his fast food chain mush be destroyed.
5. Persecution must be fought against, not endured.
6. Heresy will not be tolerated.
7. The pie must be honored on Fridays with offerings of cheese.
8. Hippos are the Pie's messengers. Cheese, pickles, and llamas are also holy.
9. One must say 'Hi' to a hippo sometime in their life to be saved.
10. The second prophet of Pie (the middle schooler who re-started Pieism after Fred Fred Burger's death) is Fred Fred Burger's reincarnation.
11. Eating pie is sacrilegious.
12. The good and piful shall go to the land of Eternal Pastries when they die.
13. The evil shall go to the lair of the moose.
14. Cheese sticks, pies-in-the-face, and dill pickles are holy weapons.
15. To pray to the pie, stick both arms out in front of you and get on your knees and bow. then, touch your forehead to the floor three times.
16. Prayers must begin "O Great Pie! Creater of all that is sweet and baked!"
17. Pie is good.

Note: These are not commandments. Only a statement of belief. View the Sacred Commandments of Pie above.

To officially join the church of Pie and Pieism, one must state to a Pieist Priest: "I Believe in Pie. Pie is good. Fred Fred Burger is good. I am a Pieist." If you want to join, E-Mail us at There isn't much to it.


Anonymous St. O.H. Cheese said...

Through my religous study of pie, I must sum up the history of pie in 3 words:

~Pie is goood

12:56 PM  
Anonymous pie lover said...

I love pie!

I qoute from St. OH cheese

"pie is good"

1:00 PM  
Blogger Captain Spankin' Crackers said...

Why, it was the Captain himself who told us when being initiated we must stick our finger into the pie and say, "My finger is stuck in the pie"...and it was good.

1:30 PM  
Blogger wonderwoman said...

i beleive in pie.pie is good.fred fred burger is good. wats the next bit???

12:48 AM  
Blogger a duck said...

pie is indeed good.

11:13 AM  
Blogger Captain Pie Master said...

I'm Captain Pie Master, sucessor of Captain Spankin Crackers. I taken over leadership of the Sacred Text a la Mode now he has left us. Visit our site at:
From Captain Pie Master

11:57 AM  
Blogger JoJo said...

"The Baker was the JoJo was the Pie so in the end the Pie baked itself" - The JoJo of the Pie

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Sumi said...

Why is there no jojo in this church of pieism, I thoughht all pieists accepted the jojo?

11:00 AM  
Anonymous The JoJo said...

No Sumi, only modern Union Pieists accept the JoJo!

1:38 PM  

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